# Men's bathrooms are (quantum-like) universal computers

As it's well documented, men choose urinals to maximize their distance from already occupied urinals. Letting $u_i$ be 1 or 0 depending on whether urinal $i$ is occupied, and setting $\sigma_{i,j}$ to the distances between urinals $i$ and $j$, male urinal choosing behavior can be seen as an annealing heuristic maximizing

(summing over repeating indexes as per Einstein's convention). And this is obviously equivalent to the computational model implemented by D-Wave's quantum computers! Hardware implementations of urinal-based computers might be less compact than quantum ones (and you might need bathrooms embedded in non-Euclidean spaces in order to implement certain programs), but they are likely to be no more error-prone, and they are certain to escalate better.