Men's bathrooms are (quantum-like) universal computers

2012-01-17

As it's well documented, men choose urinals to maximize their distance from already occupied urinals. Letting $$u_i$$ be 1 or 0 depending on whether urinal $i$ is occupied, and setting $$\sigma_{i,j}$$ to the distances between urinals $$i$$ and $$j$$, male urinal choosing behavior can be seen as an annealing heuristic maximizing

$$!\sum u_i u_j \sigma_{i,j}$$

(summing over repeating indexes as per Einstein's convention). And this is obviously equivalent to the computational model implemented by D-Wave's quantum computers! Hardware implementations of urinal-based computers might be less compact than quantum ones (and you might need bathrooms embedded in non-Euclidean spaces in order to implement certain programs), but they are likely to be no more error-prone, and they are certain to escalate better.

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